If we do not uncover [our] problems--and I saw this in myself--we risk
placing a veneer of spirituality over deeply buried emotional wounds from
childhood that do not simply go away.
...When this happens there is greater potential for our spirituality to
become simply another expression of our personal pathology. We can falsify
the qualities valued in the path without realizing it. Renunciation can
become another level of denial and avoidance; compassion can become a sickly
sentimentality that has no substance to it. Our desire to help others can
come from "compulsive caring," or a compulsion to sacrifice ourselves because
we feel worthless. The Buddhist idea of emptiness can likewise be falsified
by the desire to disappear psychologically and merge or lose ego boundaries.
Lack of identity, formless vagueness, and absence of boundaries do not
exemplify the Buddhist idea of emptiness. My own version of this
misconception was to try to live an ideal of the pure and pious only to find
it was a form of repression I could not ultimately sustain.
At the heart of Buddhist practice is the search for a solution to our
fundamental wounds. Healing the emotional damage we often carry within is
truly the object of this practice. If we wish to resolve these problems, we
need to be open and honest about their reality within us. Only when we do
will any spiritual practice address what we need. The aim of Buddhist
practice is not a spiritual transcendence that dissociates from our suffering.
Nor is it the search for salvation in some form of external divine being that
we hope will save us in our distress. As one of my teachers, Lama Thubten
Yeshe, once said, "Buddhism is very practical; you just have to recognize that
your mind is the cause of suffering. If you change your mind, you can find
liberation." This message is very simple but by no means easy to follow. In
order to do so, however, we must begin to recognize where we are
psychologically wounded.
-- Rob Preece, in "The Wisdom of Imperfection: The Challenge of
Individuation in Buddhist Life", published by Snow Lion Publications
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